Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
