i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
