East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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