Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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