gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize