The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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