Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
