I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
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