What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize