You're a womanizer and a bitch.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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