She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
