Where did you get a picture of my penis
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
