dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
