You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
