i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize