Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
