If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
