I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
