remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
