In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
