I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
