the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
