Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
