she was so not down for the gang bang
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
