Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
