Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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