She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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