Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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