dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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