At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
