The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
