Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
