alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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