what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
