She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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