i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
