Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
