If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
