I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
