I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
