he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I want a musical about memes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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