just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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