Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
