just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
