Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
