No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
