At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm too high and old for this...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
