Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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