just come out here and I will go home with you...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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