Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
where does the pee come out of this thing
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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