I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
