only you would photoshop your dick
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
