I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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