Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
