Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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