hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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