i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
