you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
