I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
