I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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