Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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