google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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